The Ten Hottest Guys In Surfing—According To Heather Rose
Justin Cote
- March 30 2009
- 8,805 views
- 30 comments
We are not sexist. After our controversial “10 Hottest Girls In Pro Surfing” post, one of our faithful-yet-loathed comment box posters—“Stu” is his handle—dared us to do the same thing but with dudes. With that challenge in mind, we asked the newest member of the Transworld SURF editorial team—Miss TransWorld SURF 2008 Heather Rose—to rank the Ten Hottest Guys In Surfing. As you may or may not already know, Heather is a loose cannon with a foul mouth—and we love her for that. Her prose is as hot and spicy as her body, so enjoy the list and save your homo-phobia and man crushes for the gym.
Heather’s #1 heart throb Dane Reynolds. Photo: Bielmann/SPL
Above: Dane’s 10 point ride at the 2009 Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast
1. Dane Reynolds
Let’s be realistic this guy is the ultimate dreamboat. With all due respect to his girlfriend, he is definitely making surfing very sexy. Also he reads Hemmingway, which gives him bonus points in my book. He claims to believe in pacifism, well Dane you can start by pacifying our beating hearts. Dane needs to market his essense in a cologne or sports drink—call it, Dane’s delight, whatever it is I’ll take a sip. Smart, young, smooth and delicious Dane should be very proud to be number one on my list.
Tanner Gudauskas has the dance moves and smile that makes the ladies melt. Photo: Checkwood
2. Tanner Gudauskas
Tanner is my favorite Guadoukjgsdghkis brother. He is sweet, funny and has the ability to dance the pants off ANYONE. He definitely won the dance competition versus Seabass in The Pursuit—not to mention his all-American good looks. Tanner is the kind of guy who never puts on a sad face and would never be a sore loser. He is perpetually stoked and optimistic.
Dane’s baby blues make the ladies swoon…Photo: English
3. Dane Ward
If you’ve had the chance to gaze into his baby blue eyes then you understand why he is numero tres on my list. Dane is a super friendly guy with decent morals considering he was raised with sisters. If surfing doesn’t work out for him, there’s always Playgirl.
Girls love dirty boys…Warren Smith. Photo: Taras
4. Warren Smith
Face the facts: If you don’t think Warren Smith is f—king adorable then you are a lesbian. This kid has a hessian style and probably hasn’t showered since ‘08. Thankfully the pheromones are on his side because cleanliness doesn’t seem to be a point of contention for us ladies. With a different hair color each month Warren constantly keeps our attention. Also he carves waves like a thanksgiving turkey. Never change you little sexpot.
Heather’s not the only who was weak in the knees back in ‘93. Photo People Magazine
Kelly Slater in his breakthrough movie; In Black And White.
5. Kelly Slater Circa 1993
Kelly definitely did it for the ladies in his In Black And White era. As the oldest man on my list, Kelly is single-handedly showing us that there may be luck for aging surfers. Still slicing that shit like it was yesterday, Kelly keeps his prestige and hotness. Nine world titles and number five on my Top Ten Hottest Surfers list … what can’t Kelly do?
Really Heather? A D.I.L.F.? Luke Stedman. Photo: Bielmann/SPL
6. Luke Stedman
Holy hotness! We lost Heath Ledger, but thank god we still have Luke. Who could resist that blonde scruffy muffin? This is one sexy D.I.L.F. Dear Luke, let me babysit. I promise I will wait until they reach legal age. I hope legal age is before 18 in Oz. Love, Heather.
Eric G would have been ranked higher had he made out with Heather instead of Danielle…Photo: Dorsey
7. Eric Geiselman
Eric, you are my favorite, and you know this. Watching this little olive lamb grow up, we were witness to sex appeal blooming. I’m sorry I had to rank you at 7, but come on, you made out with Danielle instead of me. Bummer. Also I would like to cordially thank your mother for popping out two sexy little Florida surfers…that’s right girlies, he’s got a little brother.
A hot mess…Ozzie Wright. Photo: Scott
8. Ozzie Wright
Although Ozzie does not have the contemporary look of a sexy beach surfer, he f—king rules. His art is insane, nobody can do more tricks on one wave, and his music rocks our socks. You definitely want to make love to his well-rounded talent. Mucho respect.
Innocent Ace would stand no chance with Miss Heather Rose…Photo: Checkwood
9. Adrian “Ace” Buchan
One of my last minute replacements, Ace just Buchan’ed his way on up to nine. It was the mustache that did it for me, making that creepy upper lip look damn fine. We hope you don’t slip anything into our drinks, cause c’mon Ace … we weren’t going to say no in the first place.
A rare moment when Aussie madman Paul Fisher is clothed. Photo: S*
10. Paul Fisher
Last but certainly not least we have Paul Fisher from Australia. He doesn’t need to do much fishing for ladies—with all that blonde ambition and shredding skills. That smile alone makes us melt! What can I say…I like blondes. Preferably blondes who feel the constant constrain of clothing. This guy loves to get nude—finally a preview we are willing to sit through!
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March 30th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
you gotta admit, dan reynolds is pretty hot…no homo
March 30th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Wow, unlike the Hottest Girls story, heather actually picked subjects older than seventeen. After the baby sitting Stedman’s kid comment, i’m not sure if the Hottest Girls story or this one is creepier.
March 30th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
donde esta Heitor Alves?
March 30th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Oh my God, this article was worth reading just to see what Heather had to say. Hilarious.
Props, TW!
March 30th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Is Heather Rose, Chris Cote’s pen name?
March 30th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
REALLY disappointed I didn’t get a chance to write this, but bravo nonetheless. And no, bolt thrower, I’m sure Heather Rose is really Lewis Samuels’ pen name as Mr. Cote could certainly not write something this thought out.
March 30th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
btw, I look forward to the list that will finally include Jordy Smith - when should we expect the “10 hottest surfers with down syndrome” list to come out?
March 30th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Couldn’t be Lewis Samuels. He is much too busy ‘counting his barrels’ and learning about HTML so his blog doesn’t look like netscape navigator 3.0
March 30th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Warren Smith d@ck stinks and he is a dirt bag. I would like to punch his stupid mouth in. He also likes to suck little boys off. But he is still hot. fagators in da house.
March 31st, 2009 at 9:38 am
that wasn’t very nice Stu. Heather was Miss Transworld 2008, and now she works for us. And judging by how much time you spend on our site, you wish you could work for us too.
March 31st, 2009 at 10:57 am
not really. I prefer my job, which pays far better than yours I’m sure and allows me the freedom to play on your site all day. BTW, I noticed that your building is up for lease - moving up in the world or a troubling sign of things to come for TW media?
March 31st, 2009 at 3:04 pm
warren is hot
March 31st, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I’d like some alone time with Warren…me and him are good ol’ boys!
March 31st, 2009 at 4:11 pm
i thought warren’s sexual preference was like the post office …. all mail
March 31st, 2009 at 6:24 pm
agreed
i thought i was the only who thought Cote was a horrible writer.He seems to try too hard to be witty or cool.
March 31st, 2009 at 6:28 pm
sorry Cote.I didnt mean to offend anyone
April 1st, 2009 at 4:49 am
Where’s Layne Beachley?
April 1st, 2009 at 9:30 am
Angela papas huh? What a joke you are. Lewis sammies is the man, enough balls to throw out what surfing has been ignoring for the last 20 years. You my friend, should wash your mouth out…with a 12 gauge.
April 1st, 2009 at 5:51 pm
heather, that was awesome. but you’ve gotta add one more to the list - BEDE! He’s got that “quiet guy - always dreaming about what he’s going to do to you all night” way about him. DANG! Redheads RULE in bed.
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Very nice list but you missed thee HOTTEST surfer, and probably the hottest guy on the planet… JULIAN WILSON! Have you seen him surf? Listened to an interview with his sexy Aussie accent? Glanced at his piercingly beautiful eyes or 1000 watt smile? If not, you’re missin’ out.
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:35 pm
that warren smith boy can dance with the best of them. he’s gay as hell. and i love it. come back home from aus boy.
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Warren smith is way to old to be called a kid.
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:42 pm
but he can dance way better than tanner. In his old age he has learned some great dance moves.
April 5th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
stu, why hate on something you cannot get enough of? lame.
p.s. when someone says they make more than you, they either don’t, or they have a miniscule penis
April 6th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
that’s similar, I guess, to the idea that any guy who drives a really expensive sports cars must have a small weenie too. Made up, of course, by guys with really little weenies who can’t afford expensive sports cars. I’m fairly certain Mr. Cote’s paycheck is not much to write home about.
April 15th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
u forgot to put me on the list
plus i have a 9 incher
June 1st, 2009 at 8:17 am
Paul Fisher is a pig. Don’t waste your time with him. No respect for women. Should be strung up by the balls.
June 4th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Amazing. How many have you made out with? I have 8 to go.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
heather, you’re fucking brilliant. seeing warren on here is amazing…feels like it was yesterday he was breaking 16-year-old hearts in the ritz carlton spa. carving it like a thanksgiving turkey, remember that cute little fuck!?
more heather please!
August 25th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
You’re one sassy cougar in training. I applaud you.