US Open Of Surfing Survival Kit

survival-kit
US Open Of Surfing Survival Kit

Our US Open battle-hardened team of experts provides a field kit that is guaranteed to save your ass this week in HB—because the biggest surf contest in the world comes with some major hazards.

Hand Sanitizer
A few years ago a certain member of our staff contracted swine flu. Casey hasn’t been the same since…

Breath Freshener
Don’t be a yuck mouth.

Condoms
Taking into consideration the stories we’ve been hearing (kids these days), you’d be a fool not to strap one on.

Headphones
If only to drown out the sound of beach announcer Rockin’ Fig.

Aspirin
With all the energy drinks and cheap vodka that will be consumed, consider bringing your body weight in Advil or Tylenol.

Corpo Card
Sure you can expense that! Just put it under the “entertainment” box and say you were with Nike ‘s Phil Knight.

Hot Interns
Nobody get the attention of pros like Matt Wilkinson faster than a wide-eyed intern from Fallbrook.

Skateboard
Despite the signs and garages, there is no parking anywhere.

Gold Bond
Keep the boys chafe free as you walk the streets of HB

VIP List Hook Up
Scour company directories for a marketing guys name and drop it at the front of the line.

Cash Money
Nothing’s free in HB…

Camera
Because your loser friends won’t believe you scored that 10 without photographic evidence.