Coconut Wireless: The North Shore Rumor Mill Swirls

Flynn Novak reporting about what he heard from the actual North Shore Coconut Wireless…

Damn, when will I be able to ride my short board again? Why does it feel like I can turn my 10’5” single fin now? Massive swell after massive swell have me thinking about the next time I’ll be able to surf with out fearing for my little life. I also wonder when our run of wild winter surf will settle down a bit.

Monday, as everyone knows, was another big wave day. This time though, I kept hearing about all the carnage instead of the glory. Mind you that this is all hearsay coming straight from the actual shit-talking “Coconut Wireless” over here, so don’t take it literally like you read this out of the dictionary…

Maui County Lifeguard and esteemed Hawaiian waterman Archie Kalepa gets airlifted out of the Jaws lineup after breaking his leg while tow-in surfing. Photo: Noyle/SPL

Maui County Lifeguard and esteemed Hawaiian waterman Archie Kalepa gets airlifted out of the Jaws lineup after breaking his leg while tow-in surfing. Photo: Noyle/SPL

So the list of chaos and carnage goes like this: Maui County Lifeguard Archie Kalepa broke his leg towing at Jaws. North Shore Lifeguard Joe Golonka broke his femur while on the back of the rescue jet ski after getting mowed down by a wave at Himalayas. Another surfer had to be re resuscitated after a long hold down at the same spot. A tow-in surfer at Jaws was flown over in an emergency helicopter to a hospital on Oahu, and his tow partner was lost at sea. A jet ski washed up on the beach at Rockpiles early Monday morning, with no operator or rider in sight.

Along with the rumor report, I heard guys were towing into Waimea Bay before the sun came up. And later that night, a North Shore resident in his mid twenties was shot in the leg by another North Shore resident.

Monday at Jaws on Maui. Photo: Noyle/SPL

Monday at Jaws on Maui. Photo: Noyle/SPL

Probably none of this shit is true, just like our local news surf report was claiming it was 50 feet on Monday.

I can’t attest to any of this crap I’ve just reported about mainly because I went to the West Side in search of better conditions and ended up having a blast at bombing Makaha with a few friends.—Flynn Novak

Leave a random comment about what you heard went down this past Monday…