July 7, 2009
As usual, the service at the Oceanside Hooters was impeccable. Photo: NotMe
“I love the Cali Rally, man!” gushed …Lost team manager Ryan Simmons as his team scarfed down a Billabong squad beating 115 spicy chicken wings. “I’m so into! If we tried a little harder and got some budget we could totally win this!”
Temporarily distracted, Simmons understandably let his guard down. He won’t make that mistake again. Photo: Justin
And Simmons had right to be pumped as his squad of three groms and slightly rotund 30-something from H.B. crushed plate after plate of Hooters finest and put them into the lead of the Cali Rally Hooters Chicken Wing Eating Contest. Simmons’ giddiness was soon replaced by a Mike Tyson-like rage. “You fu—kers are going down!” he screamed into the phone at what we think was (judging from the thong wearing female accomplice) a member of the Reef team. “She was pretty hot, man,” noted our supersized bro Jason who’s also the driver of the Monster Energy RV we cruise around in during the Rally. “I saw it all go down,” he added.
You’d be pissed too…Photo: Justin
With the video rolling, Simmons and crew were still mad, “Oh, it’s on!” he barked into the camera. “We goin fo’ scrap, brah,” chimed in Kauai’s Dylan Melamed as the …Lost crew wiped eggs and possibly urine off Simmons’ personal vehicle (For the record, Reef has a rented RV… not sure how much they had to put down on for a deposit but I hope it wasn’t much).
…Lost team Rallyer Luke Rife put down at least 30 wings. Photo: Justin
So while they may have taken some fire from an obviously dirty team, …Lost can console themselves with a great point total in the Hooters Wing Eating Challenge, however, as a still hungry Chucky “Chuckalupo” Rigano yelled as they peeled out of the parking lot; “We were feeling good—but we’re so eggy now!” Watch your back Team Reef…and see you (and maybe the …Lost guys?) at Hooters in Costa Mesa on Wednesday afternoon at 12:30!
See you tomorrow in Costa Mesa or Thursday in Hollywood!
Frankly, we’ve saw much worse last year yet take pleasure in that it’s still early days for sabotage. Photo: Justin