Amazingly Huge Bruce Irons Giveaway!
Ryan Brower
- April 21 2009
- 495 comments
In case you didn’t know it, Bruce Irons likes to give things away. All his friends and neighbors have Volcom T-shirts and Nixon watches — he’s pretty much a bro when it comes to hooking his friends up with free gear. That’s why he wants to hook you up, ’cause he likes you. This is a mega-packie worth thousands, and all you have to do to win it is answer this question: What is going through Bruce’s mind when he stands in huge tubes with no hands?
In the comment box below, tell us what you think Bruce thinks — good luck. Make sure to comment as a registered user though, otherwise we’ll have no way of contacting you if you win.
This prize package includes:
JS surfboard
Volcom wardrobe
DC Bruce Irons Signature Sandals
Nixon headphones
Dakine Bruce Irons Signature Pad
Red Bull
Oakley Hijinx - Bruce Irons Signature Sunglasses
»
April 21st, 2009 at 10:57 am
Bruce is thinking that he wishes time would stand still.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:09 am
Why the hell did I ever join the “dream” tour in the first place!
April 21st, 2009 at 11:14 am
bruce is thinking…thank god im off that stupid fucking asp tour where there are no huge tubes like this…people judge your surfing…and you have to wear a fucking jersey…this aint football people…this is surfing
April 21st, 2009 at 11:22 am
No thoughts, his thoughts are clear and focused on the task at hand.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:25 am
He is probably thinking ” They say that if you are approached by a cougar you are supposed to make yourself look as large as possible to scare it away… I BET THE SAME WORKS ON SLATER!”
April 21st, 2009 at 11:27 am
Oh shit forgot to include my address. Here i put it on this one.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:27 am
If everyone else was doing this right now, there would be no war.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:39 am
He’s thinking (if at all, because let’s be honest, thinking isn’t his strong point) - I can’t believe they pay me for this.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:45 am
Andy could never have gotten this deep!!!
April 21st, 2009 at 11:52 am
is thinking when can I do this again and enjoing the moment.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:56 am
Bruce is thinking: “Eddie’d no hand it…”
April 21st, 2009 at 11:58 am
Typo! Bruce is thinking: “Eddie’d no hands it…”
April 21st, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Ahhhh, home at last.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Bruce is thinking: its good to be alive!
April 21st, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I’m guessing Bruce is thinking what everyone else is thinking when they get tubed:
“(huge, shit-eating, grin) ahhhh… yeah, hell yeah, stay open, stay open…”
April 21st, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Theres no place like home.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Ahh, home at last.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:23 pm
He’s thinking about how much he wants WAsurfer to win this contest.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:41 pm
I THINK HES THINKING ABOUT A HOT BABE HE IS GOING OUT WITH LATER IN THE NIGHT, I THINK THE LAST THING HES THINKING ABOUT IS THE WATER, HES THINKING ABOUT MOTOR BOATING THAT BABE LATER.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:54 pm
“Adrenalina” takes over and no standard thought process’ work, so the mind reverts to a simpler time in his youth…
“With a smooth style like this maybe I can get laid”
April 21st, 2009 at 1:02 pm
I love being in deep holes full of spit….Ron Jeremy doesn’t have crap on me.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Hes most likey thinking about nothing, Just enjoying the view each time.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:23 pm
shit my arms are tired… ahh there we go
April 21st, 2009 at 1:30 pm
no thoughts just conscious bliss
April 21st, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Where is the photographer, so I can get paid.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:49 pm
yes sir this is a cover up! oh my god…wait, where are my hands? hmm wow, i can get just as pitted with only stumps. i’m going to start a center for kids who have stumps for hands but want to get barrels and punt good too.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I don’t even have to use my creepy fingers for this one!
April 21st, 2009 at 1:59 pm
hes trying to remember how he got in the tube in the first place
April 21st, 2009 at 2:02 pm
fuck the peer review to the get wildcard into pipe masters. I own pipe!
April 21st, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Hey Jamie O, I’m Back you slappy!!
April 21st, 2009 at 2:15 pm
hope no kook fucks this wave up for me.
April 21st, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Life’s a garden, dig it!
April 21st, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I hope the next one is bigger!
April 21st, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Where can I get a beer around here?
April 21st, 2009 at 2:36 pm
“Did I lock my car?”
April 21st, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Bruce is thinking…..”I hope Kaiborg doesnt go right”
April 21st, 2009 at 2:54 pm
i wonder who’s gonna win all my cool shit…
April 21st, 2009 at 2:57 pm
He’s got Foghat’s “Slow Ride” playing in his head.
“Slow Ride…. take it easy…. slow ride”
April 21st, 2009 at 3:01 pm
“I think I just jizzed in my shorts…”
April 21st, 2009 at 3:13 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=PlayList&p=5A9C50B207ADC1E0&index=0&playnext=1
April 21st, 2009 at 3:15 pm
How come no one calls me “B.I.”?
April 21st, 2009 at 3:18 pm
I could drive that truck I rolled in “Dude Cruise” through here.
April 21st, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Look Andy!…No hands!
April 21st, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Um…ah…hmmm…dang that was cool!
April 21st, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Bruce: “Well this is nice. I wish I could do this every day. Oh that’s right I do. And I get sweet swag for looking good doing this. Let me give some away, how about to Justin.”
April 21st, 2009 at 3:36 pm
nothing.
April 21st, 2009 at 4:04 pm
“how’s my hair”
April 21st, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I mean “How’s my hair?”
April 21st, 2009 at 4:24 pm
thank god for this massive pair of balls he gave me, for without them, i would be just like any other guy getting shacked at chopes or pipe. but thanks to this gargantuan sack of mine, i dont even think twice when im pullin in with no hands… its second nature, its all i know…
April 21st, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Nothing…, it’s one of the few times in life where one is able to just let go of everything & become one with what I personally call “the state of maximum flow”…, when you’ve become one with the board, physics, the elements, & it’s just a moment of peace & “adrenaline” at the same time. Life…, it’s hard to beat like that.
April 21st, 2009 at 4:28 pm
thank god for this massive pair of balls he gave me, for without them, i would be just like any other guy getting shacked at chopes or pipe. but thanks to this gargantuan sack of mine, i dont even think twice when im pullin in with no hands… its second nature, its all i know…
April 21st, 2009 at 4:32 pm
“It is good to be home!”
April 21st, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Bruce is thinking… “Thank you surf gods for giving me this beautiful tube, and wishing for another just like it” Thats what I think when I’m getting barreled.
April 21st, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Bruce’s Brain
“Oh you like that dontcha? You want me to go a little deeper? Can you handle it deeper? Oh yeah, right there, that’s the spot isn’t it? I can tell you like it when I slide it riiiight here. You want some more of that? Oh I love it when you try to put the squeeze on me. You know what? I gotta go, it’s been fun, but there are some others I gotta go see next. How about we do this again tomorrow? Same time? Same place? Cool, I’m out…………….”
And Bruce slips out the back amidst an orgasm of spit, paddles back out…and does it all over again.
April 21st, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I hope my balls aren’t hanging out the bottom of my boardies again… these things are huge!
April 21st, 2009 at 4:52 pm
he’s thinking………
I’m So Giving Mother Ocean the BIGGEST Orgasm Right Now!!!!!
Pound it good BI
April 21st, 2009 at 4:55 pm
On small waves he likes to party, but when its big like this wave, he says “Lets Party!”
April 21st, 2009 at 4:58 pm
On small waves he likes to party, but when its big like this wave, he says “Lets Party!”
April 21st, 2009 at 5:00 pm
i believe that many things are going through Bruce’s mind when he stands in huge barrels with no hands. bruce is an unbelievable surfer and has taken the sport to new levels. i believe he has found where he truly belongs and that is in the barrel. he doesn’t need the tour and can find his true love for the sport with out it. he is someone that needs that natural high from pulling into a monstrous barrel, whether it be at pipe or teahupoo. he embraces the true essence of the wave and appreciates the feeling and reward from getting tubed. getting barreled for Bruce is nothing knew but his love and addiction to go bigger, deeper, and charge harder is what brings him back to his place of being, which is in the barrel!
April 21st, 2009 at 5:00 pm
he’s thanking the ocean for all of the positive energy she delivers
April 21st, 2009 at 5:06 pm
he’s thinking about the most perfect ass he’s ever seen.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Bruce is thinnkin this…daaammm niggaaa this is sick i got it made
April 21st, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Bruce is thinkin this…dammm nigga imma beast
April 21st, 2009 at 5:38 pm
That Malibu from American Gladiators could do it better.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Where are my hands?
April 21st, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Bruce is thinking “Soo many dorks would kiss my ass if Transworld Surf asked, What is going through my mind when I stand in huge tubes with no hands?!”
April 21st, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Bruce thinks “grabbing your rail is for pussies”
April 21st, 2009 at 6:35 pm
thank god for this moment im surfing for a liveing
April 21st, 2009 at 6:37 pm
As Brucey is pumping through a thick meaty slab at chopes, he’s thinking, Creepy fingers? Check. Nonchalant style? Check. Stickers on my JS? Check. My dog Mochi fed? Check. Shootz cuz, lifes fucking goood brah!
April 21st, 2009 at 6:39 pm
i think its time for waves to get bigger or i need to settle down and have some groms running around
April 21st, 2009 at 6:39 pm
he’s thinking “I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. i have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” in other words Bruce Irons is the balls.
April 21st, 2009 at 6:41 pm
damn i hate it when my board shorts suck my balls
April 21st, 2009 at 6:41 pm
damn it! i hate it when my board shorts suck my balls
April 21st, 2009 at 6:44 pm
“After a few coldies, i take a leak like this too!”
April 21st, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Bruce is deep in thought about if a chipmunk burrows a home, yes it is easier for the chipmunk to dig in soft ground, yet a chipmunks home is always stronger when dug in hard dirt….
April 21st, 2009 at 7:01 pm
“Maybe I should get a puppy?!”
April 21st, 2009 at 7:04 pm
ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh……how much wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck can chuck wood brudah!?!
April 21st, 2009 at 7:05 pm
“Look Mom, no hands!”
April 21st, 2009 at 7:13 pm
If the wave breaks here, don’t be there, or your gunna get pounded
April 21st, 2009 at 7:31 pm
“Oh Shit…Did I feed Mochi Before I left?”
April 21st, 2009 at 7:44 pm
“man I’ve been ripping pipe ever since i was a grom”!!!!!!!!
April 21st, 2009 at 8:01 pm
When Bruce is in one of those huge tubes with no hands he is focused from the start, then as he is getting out he starts to laugh and think about how bad the other sponsors wish they had him on their team, and how sick of a shot his photographers got. And now that he is off the ASP World Tour, he can finally get more and more of those huge, no handed barrels, and show off his skill to the world.
April 21st, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I’d rather be at tunnels or cannons.
April 21st, 2009 at 9:07 pm
HE IS THINKING ” YEAH IM BAD AND I GOT A COCK MADE OF PLATINUM” AND NOTHING IN THIS WORLD CAN STOP ME
April 21st, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Hes thinking, “I could go no hands on my bike when I was 4, this is just progression.”
April 21st, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Bruce it thinking that life would make so much more sense if there were random choreographed dance sequences and montages to help out.
April 21st, 2009 at 9:58 pm
He feels like he owns it.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Jeepers, I wonder what our baby is going to be? Hope Mia is alright? Hmmmm, better paddle in after this bomb that the boys gave me and make sure all is good in da hood . . . . I supposed if I grabbed my rail I could . . . . ahhhh, fuck it, no hands, no glory . . . .
April 21st, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Was that an Ahi - I wish I had my fishing pole.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:44 pm
as he slots in and reaches for the heavens he is thinking how awesome it is that he doesn’t have to work in some crummy office and that he is getting paid to get totally stoked on life
April 21st, 2009 at 11:06 pm
“When is the next QS in Brazil?”
April 21st, 2009 at 11:07 pm
I AM GOD
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:07 am
“DRAG BALLS, NOT HANDS.”
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:38 am
Bruce’s internal dialogue while barreled…
“I felt like I was on a spaceship and, uh– I’m not sure what to do with my hands.”
“Uh, be good just to hold them down by your side. Yeah, right.”
“Okay. We we’re real happy with, um, with what was going on. And, uh, at the end of the day, you know, you gotta be happy.”
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:42 am
Bruce doesn’t think.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:01 am
FU*K YEAH!
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:25 am
He thinking how to flip the truck he just drove in….
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:47 am
“Did I leave the oven on?”
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:06 am
“Hey everyone, come see how good I look…”
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:42 am
Bruce is thinking “What can I do to top Andy’s giveaway”
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:34 am
“Barrels?” “Barrels are like a mirror, well three of them anyway” “Oh Shit I can see myself in them… Hey there good looking wanna go out?”
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:55 am
Fuck Yeah!!!!
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:44 am
Bruce is just thinking about how amazingly lucky he is to be livin the dream and experiencing all the beauty and power mother nature has to offer while getting payed to do it.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:01 am
Have I locked the door back home?
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:28 am
I don’t know what Bruce is thinking in the tube, but if you hook me up with his mega Volcom giveway, I’ll give you a ride in my brother’s 2002 Nissan Xterra. It’s totally sweet but only
for the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was
possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o’clock shadow,this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.
It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn’t meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that’s what your Prius is for. If that’s the kind of car you’re looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.
This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the
highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn’t even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don’t get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn’t let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don’t even know what the hell On Star is).
No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super
action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It’s got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you’re operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you’re being chased by Libyan terrorists,you’ll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It’s saved my bacon more than once.
It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There’s a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.
My only asking is for the Bruce Mega Volcom pack or any reasonable offer. And by reasonable, I mean don’t walk up
and tell me you’ll give me cool RVCA T as seen on the Hills or Laguna Beach, that’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let’s just say you won’t be the
prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it’s a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I’ll get back to you. And when I do, we’ll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash. To sweeten the deal a little, I’m throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can’t fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:45 am
Bruce is thinking about the huge section coming up and the sick punt he is going to throw off it when he gets spit out of the barrel.
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 am
One thing can go through that beasts mind.
K.A.U.A.I (Karma And Unity Always Inspires)
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:08 am
“Ahhh…This is sick. At least I’m not sitting at a desk typing in some stupid comment box right now”
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 am
“Ahhh…This is sick. At least I’m not sitting at a desk typing in some stupid comment box right now”
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 am
I wonder if my wife will let me play with her wang chun tonight? Do these new Volcom boardshorts make my ass look big, because my junk is looking huge!!!
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
Your brothers 2002 Xterra is GAY, my 2002 4Runner will whip its ass! Now thats a Man-ride, bitch!
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 am
No hands on my rails. The better to flip off the channel while getting spit out of the barrel my dear!
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:42 am
I can’t believe Disco is sitting deeper than me in this thing!
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:48 am
WONDER IF I CAN RUB MY OINGO BOINGO ON THE WIFE’S WANG CHUNG TONIGHT? THE VOLCOM BOARDSHORTS MAKE MY JUNK LOOK HUGE!!!!
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
He’s probably thinking that neon’s comeback is lame and everyone should go back to wearing black.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Bruce makes the drop, slides in, and then…….SILENCE. No hands. Time stands still…….The entire world is spinning blue and green………and Bruce just IS. He is fully immersed in the here and now, attempting to tame the untamable. I’m not so sure Bruce is really ‘thinking’ about anything when he is in a massive tube. I think he just instinctually reacts to the changing world around him with an amazing amount of style and control. HOW he reacts to the wave is what makes him the best tube rider in the world. I think for Bruce, being in the tube is quite simply ‘to BE’, and ‘to BE’ is to have been born.
Every time Bruce gets barreled he allows himself to relive what it is like to be born.
We can make the obvious comparisons to tube riding and birth, but unfortunately most of us cannot remember what being born felt like. Likewise, most of us cannot explain what it feels like to stand in a huge tube, or what was going through our heads at the time. Often, like a dream, we can only recall little bits and pieces of what may have been the ride of a lifetime. I imagine that’s why Bruce, like so many others, keeps going back for more.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:21 pm
This would be like trying to explain what a guy is thinking while having sex with Jessica alba! you just cant do it.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:23 pm
HHHMMMM; I’d GRAB the RAIL BUT GODDAMN do I love these CREEPY FINGERS!
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:31 pm
“MAN, I can’t taint the rail on my new magic Board with my DIAPER CHANGING HAND!”
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
That’s the idea dude, it’s kind of a bag on it. My 2000 Taco could take it right now. No need to get all e-BRO-tional about it. Mahalo
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:02 pm
whoa bro.. my bad, I was fooled by this lengthy tale. i thought you were getting off on your bros ride!
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
No thoughts, just the serenity of the ocean and the peace of mind that anyone who surfs achieves from being one with nature. Complete euphoria and this is why surfers do what they do and are who they are, its a connection to something greater then ones self.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Hell if I know. That’s like asking somebody what they were thinking about while blowing their load, but I can tell you he’s sure as hell not thinking about the the tour, his wave score, or all the pussy judges who think he’s punkrock mindset is too immature.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
“Wait till Dougie see’s this one”
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:16 pm
“Wonder Twin powers, ACTIVATE…form of, A GERBIL!”
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:25 pm
this is an ad for Xterra for sale on Craigslist………you are a fake dude …………. you cant think of anything yourself
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:42 pm
“If mother earth had a vagina… this would be it.”
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
He’s thinking, “Surfing is really really fun.”
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Hes probaly thinking “Riding High” by Bob marley, “You’ve been riding
You’ve been riding quite a while, child
(keep on riding, keep on riding)
You’ve been jiving
Like a peacock, that’s your style
(keep on jiving), ooh (keep on jiving)”.
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:27 pm
You called me out! You know this shit’s funny though - good looking out.
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:38 pm
“Did Kala just blow da whistle on me brah?”
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:39 pm
“Did Kala just blow da whistle on me brah?”
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
What is going through Bruce’s mind when he stands in huge tubes with no hands?
Bruce to self: Ok, what happened to…uh, where are my hands?
Thanks. I’ll be here all week.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Bruce Irons is probably thinking he wants to chill with his bros or start shredding.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Thinking? Hes not thinking anything. That would ruin the moment.
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Bruce lost his mind…. haven’t you seen him surf Chopes?
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:11 pm
“Be nonchalant and grab you balls.”
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:13 pm
“WHY RIGHT NOW DO I HAVE A BARRY MANILOW SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD?
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:16 pm
“I wonder how bells is?”
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:18 pm
“PU-IN-SAI”
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:20 pm
when he is in the tube his mind his truly clear, his thougts become clearer and mind not filled with every day bull s*** he realises the true power and beauty of the ocean. This is what keeps him so grounded and level headed because when he sees the size, power and strength of these massive waves he sees that he is nothing compaired to the ocean. that is what true surfing is about not trying to catch as many waves as possible but to be as free as possible.
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:24 pm
“who’s got bigger balls now andy?!”
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:36 pm
The ASP is a cuntsy. Lets get barreled and have babies!
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I wonder if Chuck Norris is the real reason why Waldo is hiding?
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Nice!
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:05 pm
“What would Chuck Norris Do?……I think he would round house kick this waves ass” Then drink a nice 90 minute IPA
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:17 pm
hey photog, did you get that? Hope he got the airbrush…
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:43 pm
LIFE!!!!!!
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:36 pm
I AM A GOLDEN GOD!
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Nothing. Just feeling the adrenaline.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 pm
That fish I caught the other day was THIS big.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:45 pm
I’m pretending my board is hot lava and I can’t touch it.
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:18 am
Foam ball ballin’from a baller
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 am
When did emo kid pants become standard uniform?
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:17 am
Hello everyone at transworld, I am sport psychologist specialised in reading pro surfers’ minds. I’ve got a PhD in Surfology and in Iamsodamnuselessogy. Me, along with the brand new Volcom “scientifuck” research team, we invented this special device that’s able to connect to athletes’ brain and read people minds by radiowaves (yes, a bit like Matt Parkman in heroes, you punk TV addict). I must confess that this damn thing isn’t succesful when it comes to decode Mr Irons thoughts in the barrel. Indeed, he’s pulling into caverns so thick and get so deep in them that it is impossible for our system to reach his brain, even if we made him hold some special antennas in both of his hands (no rail grabbing but better radio-reception). So, we spent a lot of money for nothing and we are now giving up on this project as it seems now impossible for mankind to ever know what is going on in Brucey’s head when is barrelled.
On the other hand, we could totally read out Victor Ribas’ mind, who is never really pulling in too deep, but I suppose there is no such thing as a Victor Ribas’ huge giveaway right? Dammit.
See you around.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:27 am
This is one hell of a 401K plan!
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 am
“This huge ass barrel is pretty cool, but at the moment, it is running a distant second to every second I spend with me baby.”
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:05 am
“I WANT ANOTHER ONE!!!”
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:11 am
“INTUBING FREEDOM”
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:42 am
And people pay me money to do this!!!!! I would do this for free
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:43 am
there is a lot worse places to be…………
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:28 am
Look mom! No more creepy fingers!
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:43 am
Shit! my balls itch…
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:45 am
Thinking- The place I love, enjoy, and want to spend all my days doing.
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:00 am
Fishing
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:14 am
For sure he’s thinking:
” He’s hookin, ” He’s hookin, ” He’s hookin, damn Rock what’s the matter with you, there is no tomorrow!”
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:25 am
I hope my brother’s watching and thinking “God, i might have won the championship but i wish i got that timeless style brah!!!!”
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:41 am
I wish I was going frontside
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:02 am
Bruce is thinking about how lucky he is to be doing that everyday. then he thinks about how cool the photograph will be of his current waves. Bruce then realizes that everyone wishes that they could do that. A cool thought that would make anyone happy.
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:04 am
Tittiesies!!
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:05 am
Titties!!
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:25 am
Is there a heaven 4 a gangsta, gangsta, gangsta, UHHHHH!
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:38 am
So this is what sex is supposed to feel like.
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:50 am
absolutely, unequivocally, peaceful and serene nothingness
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:41 am
Mr. Right lyrics
Who that dude sleepin’ with ya girlfriend?
Gettin’ nude and rude in your bed
Same dude that your sister like
Mickey Avalon, call me Mr. Right
Who that man in a black Sedan?
With two cheap hookers and a Mexican
Fuck the white line, sippin’ one Coors light
Mickey Avalon, call me Mr. Right
Stab on the ave, on the back of green grass
Young teen on the scene, no future, no past
I don’t know nothin’ ’bout nothin’ so don’t ask nothin’
‘Cause I only be talkin’ out my ass
Somethin’ smells fishy and I don’t know what
But I got a hunch it’s your lady
I’m little bit country and a little bit punk
I got a pistol named Sunny that whistles when he’s rubbed
The wrong way, Mickey Avalon song playing
Strip clubs [Incomprehensible] Bumante
Illiterate, I seen a better day
Wine and cheese, fine ladies and lemonade
Gettin’ paid for rhymes like these
And I never even learned to say my ABC’s
With ADD I rock the beat
Like AC/DC, please turn sheet
Who that dude sleepin’ with ya girlfriend?
Gettin’ nude and rude in your bed
Same dude that your sister like
Mickey Avalon, call me Mr. Right
Who that man in a black Sedan?
With two cheap hookers and a Mexican
Fuck the white line, sippin’ one Coors light
Mickey Avalon, call me Mr. Right
Radio can’t wait to play me
From K-Rock in L.A. to rooftops in Haiti
Hey baby, he’s Mr. Wrong
And maybe you should listen to the words in this song
Bird on a wire, your skirt’s on fire
Now please take a moment to admire my attire
Fresh white valleys and pink tube socks
Tight gray Levi’s and shirts with polka dots
Rolex watch but it’s fake
Gold gazelle glasses and a platinum chain
But it’s fake like your tits
And your eyes, and your nose, and your lips, and your braids
The glitz in L.A. got me ready to play
Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, any day
Every night on the strip I slip and slide
I’m that guy, call me Mr. Right
Who that dude sleepin’ with ya girlfriend?
Gettin’ nude and rude in your bed
Same dude that your sister like
Mickey Avalon, call me Mr. Right
Who that man in a black Sedan?
With two cheap hookers and a Mexican
Fuck the white line, sippin’ one Coors light
Mickey Avalon, call me Mr. Right
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:43 am
I wish Mickey Ave was bumping this shit in the channel!
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
He’s thinking… screw the tour I’d rather do this all day.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Brucie’s got to be stoked to be chasin’ tubes again. Our wildest feral cat is named in his honor’cause he’s fearless like Bruce. You guys said it best, the rawest surfer on the planet!
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:45 pm
“no more changing diapers!”
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Easy as 1, 2.. Ah! CRAMP, CRAMP, CRAMP!!!!
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Bruce is thinking, “Let’s see Andy do it better & with more style than this…”
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
“so this is what heaven is going to be like!”
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Damn, where are my hands?! Good thing I have my feet or I would be standing on my ankles.
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
He is definitely thinking, ” I told you I was gonna do it, I told you, I f***ing told you I was going to do it. I told you!!”
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:29 pm
“Shit, I left my car on!”
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:34 pm
“I hope Andy set the TIVO for the Golden Girls marathon.”
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:53 pm
He is thinking…”I hope that Bill DeJesus kid wins my giveaway, he’s super smart, rips, and aint bad to look at either.”
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
I hope there’s a ramp when i get out of this thing
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
hes propbably not even thinking hes surfing hes imagining what hell be doing later. He’s in the tube imagining hes sitting in a restaurant somewhere with a girl on each arm.
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Yeah, sick! Next time more deeper and clapping hands.
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:08 pm
he’s thinking of nothing and everything at the same time. he is totally stoked and is waiting to tell his bros about this over a cool beer and at the same time hes just memorized by the giant tube and wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else in the entire world.
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Screw contests, this barrels sick!
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
hmmm, if i kno irons, which i dont, he’d probably be thinking, “WOOOO, this is life” evrytime its bound 2 be somthing different, maybe not but like i said i dont kno him, be fuckin sweet if i did, i could show him how 2 really throw a hook, jk, he’d shred on me duH! othertimes he might be thinking, shit how’d i do that, but personally i’d go with the “WOOOOOOO!!” ha well if i didnt win this keep me posted on wutev, tell irons South Jersey is tryna copy his moves on our 4foot swells.. SHTTTT peace n love TSW…. _____
______))))))))
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
hes thinking i could do this on a real ironing board.
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:38 pm
On Bruce’s mind while in the pit with no hands is pure adrenaline running through his bloodstream and ego showing the barneys in the channel who’s boss with smooth, relaxed style and F*ck this attitude. Or in his words “BLLAAATTTTTTT”
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:02 pm
“Fuck yeah!”
April 24th, 2009 at 12:07 am
WHOA, this is fuckin sick
April 24th, 2009 at 2:05 am
still not sure whether its green or blue…
April 24th, 2009 at 5:22 am
he is probably thinking how sweet of a picture this is going to be
and it is a sweet picture
April 24th, 2009 at 7:41 am
Mmm…..donuts.
April 24th, 2009 at 7:50 am
“Ted’s bake or shrimp truck for lunch” hoo hoo gonna break da mouth.
April 24th, 2009 at 9:13 am
“Hmmm…think about all the kooks that are gonna write what they think I am saying to myself right now. I’m over it, let’s go fishing.”
April 24th, 2009 at 10:00 am
…
Waves break to acknowledge my presence,
The sun shines primarily to bronze me to perfection,
Barrels spit to show their respect for me,
Sharks refuse to swim in waters near me,
Sea Urchins curl when my feet come near them,
Tuna seek out boats I am on to bless me with the biggest catch,
Beer was made to quench my thirst…
“I am the most interesting surfer in the world.”
April 24th, 2009 at 10:38 am
F-ck rails!! I can totally scratch my butt now
April 24th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
I hope that chick with the thong is watching
April 24th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
When Bruce is getting ridiculously pitted while looking completely relaxed, he is thinking “Damn, I could easily fit a Volcom House party in this thing, BBQ, chicks, booze and all!”
April 24th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Nobody thinks in a tube!!!
April 24th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Miss Transworld 2009, damn she’s hot
April 24th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Choke Barrel!!
April 24th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
this no problem brah. stay deep, fast line, stay deep, fast line, its shutting down i’m out… cake. did i change the diapers already?? fak brah better go in…
April 24th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
you totally ripped off that one guys answer,and then added fishing…weak!
April 24th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
He is thinking only one word… BODACIOUS!!
April 24th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
damn it feels good to be a gangsta…
April 25th, 2009 at 7:13 am
I am the lizard king. I can do anything!
April 25th, 2009 at 8:00 am
And I quote, “That’s when things start happening to you back there. You are looking out at the world through the spinning tunnel, you are skittering between heaven and earth, you are fighting for control of something you cannot control, and that’s when things like time begin to bend and warp. Funny thing is, you can never remember a tube ride exactly or what you felt in there. You only know that you want it again.” - Bruce Irons
April 25th, 2009 at 8:04 am
Same thing but now I am a registered user.
And I quote, “That’s when things start happening to you back there. You are looking out at the world through the spinning tunnel, you are skittering between heaven and earth, you are fighting for control of something you cannot control, and that’s when things like time begin to bend and warp. Funny thing is, you can never remember a tube ride exactly or what you felt in there. You only know that you want it again.” - Bruce Irons
April 25th, 2009 at 11:46 am
I WAS BORN TO BE HERE, THIS IS EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER LOVED SURROUNDING ME, IF AND WHEN I LEAVE THIS PLACE IT WILL ONLY BE FOR A MOMENT, AND YOU BET YOUR ASS I WILL BE BACK FOR MORE OF WHAT I LOVE AND WILL ALWAYS SURROUND MYSELF WITH THIS FULFILLING EXPERIANCE THAT IS THE OCEAN, LOVE, AND LIFE.
THANKS BRUCE, FOR WHAT WE ALL WISH WE COULD DO EVERYDAY. A TRUE INSPIRATION.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
This is a real a prefect ten.
April 25th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
he’s thinking… why can’t i stay in here for ever and if that wish was to come true, i would also like a couple of girls from the model search to be in here with me. Also i full bar, with a flat screen and a couple of slot machines. and for my final wish is give me the superability to never lose a contest… especially to never to lose to Kelly Slater! If only this could come true then i wouldn’t fall on the reef coming up.
April 25th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
“LOOK MOM, NO HANDS!”
April 25th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
he’s thinking…. kelly is my favorite surfer! i dont give a #~€#@||% blaaaah blaaaah blaaahhhh
April 26th, 2009 at 12:01 am
nothng´s going through his mind while in the barrel. not thinking, meditating, living.
April 26th, 2009 at 12:40 am
Beat it kook
April 26th, 2009 at 1:14 am
Only if NIXON would have “barrel of the event” at the Pipeline Masters, I would have one of those custom $10,000 watches!
April 26th, 2009 at 1:53 am
this is my natural male enhancement
April 26th, 2009 at 1:53 am
“This is my natural male enhancement”
April 26th, 2009 at 2:41 am
He is like, WHoa!! Did I take the dog for a walk today? mmmm whatevas, Sh*t I should be pigdogging or sumthng, draineeeer, cheehoo
April 26th, 2009 at 8:22 am
What was it Cote told me to do? Oh yeah, no hands
April 26th, 2009 at 8:24 am
Let’s see if I can stand a little straighter and a little more stiff… there we go.
April 26th, 2009 at 9:00 am
“I came, I saw, I conquered.”
April 26th, 2009 at 9:46 am
“can you see my abs now? Good!”
April 26th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Peace, Love, and Shred Gnar!
April 26th, 2009 at 10:38 am
This wave is nothing compared to Cannons!!!
April 26th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
He is thinking how talented and thankful he is to be the best surfer in the world
April 26th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
You can’t no hands YouTube, but you can no hands the Blue Tube.
April 26th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
hes thinking how sick justins back hand is at steps!!
April 26th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Bruce stops thinking and transforms into a millions of individual molecules vibrating at a frequency undefined outside of the water. He is converted into near pure limitless energy until he exits the tube and starts eying the next set.
April 26th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
that it is massivly badass
April 26th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
“one ($)1,000 - two ($)1,000 - three ($)1,000… It’s good to be ME”
April 26th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
What the hell did i get my self into and then counted hot girls to relax himself
April 26th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
What the hell did i get myself into and the counted sheep to relax himself
April 26th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Bruce thinks those thongs layin up on the beach better still be there after this set.
April 26th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
he is think how good a wave it is and how good of a ride it is, than he is thinking of what to do next.
April 26th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
nothing, nothing at all….
April 26th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Ohh what a beautiful world…
April 26th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
I hope the spit doesn’t dissolve the Nerds candy in my pocket.
April 26th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.
April 26th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
He thinks to “ABSOLUTELY NOTHING !!”.
April 27th, 2009 at 12:19 am
“fuucckkk”
April 27th, 2009 at 1:41 am
i hope reefs not on his ski today
April 27th, 2009 at 4:38 am
Brucey is thinking: Those kooks on the shoulder looking in think they have a good view, bullshit, i have the best, look no hands punks!!
April 27th, 2009 at 4:42 am
Bruce is thinking- .They say Jesus walked on water, but he never got a filthy no hands barrell like this.
April 27th, 2009 at 5:12 am
en-chil-adas
April 27th, 2009 at 5:34 am
This is to F%*#king easy!
April 27th, 2009 at 7:56 am
“Adam will definitely win american idol”
April 27th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Do I go fishing or play golf later?!
April 27th, 2009 at 10:46 am
This is what it’s all about!
April 27th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Bruce is thinkin “damn, god must’ve been a surfer too”
April 27th, 2009 at 11:39 am
“WHAT’S FO DINNAH!!” … … ..
April 27th, 2009 at 11:50 am
no idea what he’s thinking while he’s getting pitted, but I’m pretty sure I know what he thinks about that question: “What a stupid fucking question that is.”
April 27th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
he is thinking man i am god !
April 27th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
April 27th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
He is thinking that God is Good.
April 27th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
He is thinking…..
Are your freaking serious, am I really in here? where did i go wrong? (sighs and looks at arms) Now how the heck am i sopposed to surf now? How am i sopposed to do anything!?! I think if i just chill someone will find me.. calm down… -screams- Help!!! Get me out of here! -sighs- No ones coming are they?
April 27th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
nothing
April 27th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
He is thinking about how he could be saving hundreds of dollars per year if he switches his insurance provider to Geico.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Unreal….I am getting paid big $$$ for this?? Best job eva’!
April 27th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughs.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
This is cool.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
This is gettin too easy, maybe next time I will bring a fishing rod with and show these peeps what talent looks like !!!
April 27th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
who the hell knows what he is thinking? nobody can read minds. but if i had a guess he might think ” oh c’mon gimme something at least a little challenging”.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I’m guessing he’s like woow! I’m phyco! Thank god I have the balls to do this stuff XD
April 27th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
hows my hair? is it good? its good, right?
April 27th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Tubes, Doobs, and Boobs!! I think Im goin for that blonde haole chick after this seshy
April 27th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Hes probably thinking why the hell he did this in the first place, but hes gonna enjoy it anyway
April 27th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
damn i’m hungry
April 27th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
“LOOK MOM NO HANDS”!!
April 27th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
“This is fucking crip!”
April 27th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Bra…go fo’ broke! When I PU-IN-SAI of one mean barrel it feels unreal kine. I neva like tink i goin catch cracks from da reef, cuz i no fear. An when i get spit out i claim, dis one fo da boyz. Aurai…!
April 27th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Hmmm, I think I’m going to roll a 4-Runner after I treacherously wreck the guts out of this barrel.
April 27th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
he is thinking damn wat trick should i do when i get outta this tube
April 27th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
He is thinking damn what trick am i going to throw when i get outta this tube.
April 27th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
WCT Blows…..WCT Blows….WCT Blows…. Hey who’s that guy talking to Mia???? WCT Blows….WCT Blows….
April 28th, 2009 at 12:14 am
chee hee
April 28th, 2009 at 12:15 am
chee hee thats nice
April 28th, 2009 at 6:57 am
Already 30 minutes late for his Nixon photo shoot in town. Bruce is thinking, “Shoots, one more wave and I’ll head in…….maybe.”
April 28th, 2009 at 8:27 am
he’s thinking, “I wonder if I can get Pampers for a sponser… diapers are expensive!”
April 28th, 2009 at 9:20 am
“Life is good, it doesn’t get any better!
April 28th, 2009 at 11:03 am
He’s thinking, ‘This is what I live for’
April 28th, 2009 at 11:53 am
“I’d like to see Andy try and pull this off.”
April 28th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
He’s thinking that if he could, he’d stay here forever.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
As Bruce stands no handing through a monster barrel, he’s thinking to himself “If every stop on the WCT had huge spitting tubes, I’d have a world title no problem!”
April 28th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
“After this gotta go home and watch baby.”
April 28th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Childbirth. The birth of his new baby girl. Congrats!
April 28th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
GERRY LOPEZ
April 28th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Some Tropical taco and a big Steiny!!!
April 28th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
baby, surf, baby, baby, baby, surf?, shit, tired, need sleep, need surf, baby is 18, i get to surf!
April 28th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
I thought I read somewhere, he thinks about his facial expression… intense, relaxed, etc. Then again I could be way wrong, but he seems pretty natural in the tube and maybe he is a detailed oriented guy… he is a bonafide photo slut again.
April 28th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
beat this andy
April 28th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
he is thinking that he just wants to chill in there forever but at the same time he wants to get out of it
April 28th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
just a question where do you see the photo
April 28th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Thank You!
April 29th, 2009 at 10:52 am
“Look, No Hands”
April 29th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
“Sh-t! This is better then rolling the truck in DudeCruise!”
April 29th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Beauuuutiful!….and Don’t close out!!!
April 29th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
please let me make it out!!!
April 29th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Fuuuuck this never gets old!!! I wish i had a beer.
April 29th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
This is HANDS DOWN (bah-dum-ching) the best feeling ever!
April 29th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
blank no thoughts just got through smoking a fat joint w/da boys from da wolfpack can’t wait to get back to da beach to lite up another ha ha
April 29th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
All he could think is dude this totally narly but i hope i dont fall in front of the babes..
April 29th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
“Duuude this one’s gonna get me laid for sure!”
April 30th, 2009 at 5:33 am
“How incredible”
April 30th, 2009 at 7:21 am
Brucie is thinking “If I were a superhero, what would my super power be?……………. did I remember to turn the stove off when I left the house this morning?”
April 30th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Bruce Who ?
“Why the hell would I give some ol’ good stuff to some guys I don’t even know ?!?!”…
April 30th, 2009 at 11:42 am
He would think “Who would win in a fight between a tiger and a polar bear ??!! Can I have a Hinano ??”
April 30th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
I hope a hot girl sees me.
April 30th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
“I swear, if someone calls me creepy finger one more f’n time..”
April 30th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Miss Transworld had to ask who had the bigger d-ck?! Really?!
April 30th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
BRUCE HAS GOT TO BE THINKING,I’M A LUCKY MAN,THIS NEVER GETS OLD!
April 30th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Holding his new daughter in one arm- baby bottle in the other- while in a full on stand up barrel. Then paddles to shore and rolls a 4-runner.
May 1st, 2009 at 12:59 am
“the last time i felt this way was when i was winning the race through the fallopian tubes and i thought dude… i’m stoked… i’m gonna make it”
May 1st, 2009 at 1:20 am
he probably thought of every moment of his life that he thought would have a huge impact on him spiritually and decided that being one with nature and making it through this tube would be better than anything he’s ever experienced
May 1st, 2009 at 3:29 am
He thinks how gutted Kelly Slater is every time he see’s him pull in.
May 1st, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I don’t care what Darwin says, no monkey’s ever ripping a barrel like this. There must be a God.
May 2nd, 2009 at 8:54 am
Hey, Mom Look No Hands.
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:37 am
“I’m going to stack cheeze THIS tall once this pics of me riding this piece are published. GET MONEY, GET PAID! Irons out.”
May 2nd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
What is Bruce thinking in the tube? Nothing. At this culmination of all his efforts, Bruce is operating on the level of synaptic firing and reflex arcs, his years of experience having honed his skills until they are subconscious and intuitive. As adrenaline courses through his blood stream, his heightened senses produce a subjective slowing of time. Meanwhile, endorphins released in his brain trigger a state of transcendental bliss allowing instantaneous communication between body and nature. That’s why we all envy Bruce. Not for the money. Not for the fame. But for the ability to tap into the cosmic well from which all goodness flows. A chance for which we will don briny neoprene at sunrise and jockey in overcrowded lineups.
As for what he is thinking coming out of the tube, that’s an easy one: he’s humming his own theme song.
May 2nd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
ha ha ha. nice.
May 2nd, 2009 at 6:45 pm
bruce isnt thinking
May 2nd, 2009 at 6:53 pm
i got a pretty sweet pad up on top of that nice volcom house over there on the beach…but i suppose this will work temporarily
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:08 pm
“Andy really is an asshole”
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:45 pm
“I don’t need anyone telling me what to do and when to do it. I surf when I feel like it and I rip so deal with it!”
May 3rd, 2009 at 2:59 am
bruce was probably thinking, how could i top that dick brother of mine? oh i know! a sick giveaway thats way better than andy’s! now il rip harder AND have cooler giveaways..
May 3rd, 2009 at 6:17 am
no thinking….just feeling.
May 3rd, 2009 at 7:24 am
hes thinking of ways he could possibly look cooler. He hasnt figured out an answer yet.
May 3rd, 2009 at 10:39 am
He is thinking that there was an ultra hot mermaid like 10 ft behind him, and he is thinking whether or not he should escape the barrel….
May 3rd, 2009 at 12:32 pm
…eff the ‘CT.
May 3rd, 2009 at 3:51 pm
“oh….oh…oh..oh……ohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!, claiming that one biotches!!!
May 3rd, 2009 at 4:09 pm
“I Told You I Was Going To Get Barreled, I TOLD YOU!!!!”
May 3rd, 2009 at 8:10 pm
3 world titles, f-that, look at me now big bro
May 4th, 2009 at 9:36 am
“What should I have for lunch?”
May 4th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
“I could have gotten deeper” and if it was on Kauai “There aint no place like home”
May 4th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
“That just felt like a 35 foot Birdie putt on a two tiered green” or if I could have gotten a little deeper “That would feel like a 40 foot Eagle putt on a three tiered green”
May 4th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Ha sex is overrated, this is way better!
May 4th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
I wonder if there’s any coldies left in the cooler at the Volcom house
May 4th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
As he’s feeling the entire world slow down, there’s an intense ringing in his ears, yet there is a sense of quiet, he wonders if this is what it is like to be born again.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Either that, or he’s thinking
“Damn, the last time I was going this fast in a tube was when I was getting down with Mia!”
May 4th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
As he’s feeling the entire world slow down, there’s an intense ringing in his ears, yet there is a sense of quiet, he wonders if this is what it is like to be born again.
Either that, or he’s thinking
“Damn, the last time I was going this fast in a tube was when I was getting down with the ladies!”
May 4th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
by the way CCGromALex is also me, but then i registered
May 5th, 2009 at 12:15 am
So Cliche yes But “look ma, no hands!”
May 5th, 2009 at 12:56 am
Inside Brucey’s head as he gets mad pitted- -
Hmmm, mass distributed continuously within volume V, the movement of inertia of the mass about the X axis is given by either IX = ? rx2 dm or IX = ? rx2 ? dV…(SPIT)
May 5th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Conscious Thought: Damn this feels good
Mental State: Ecstasy
May 5th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Get a load of this one Andy, I hope he is wacthing.
May 5th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Thinking about a good burger and fries after he gets out of this barrel!
May 5th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
“Wonder what appetizer I should grab at Kintaro’s in Kapaa-town - maybe skip them - no, definitely in need an appetizer!”
May 5th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
i think bruce is thinking when the wave will make it into the mags or he is probably just not thinking about anything and just flowing into the barrel
May 5th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
“I wonder if anyone can see my hard-on?”
May 6th, 2009 at 12:07 am
damn… it feels good to be a motha f*%!in gangsta.
May 6th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Deep shades of blue and turquoise fill Bruce’s vision. His facial expression serene as the deafening roar of the wave transpires into but an echo. With arms laying calmly at his side, Bruce’s body stands in perfect tune and rhythm with the ocean. His mind is in the moment, and his thoughts are not of prior events, nor future endeavors, but rather focused on the task at hand. His mind is escaping from the pressures of the world, just as all surfer’s do when their skin touches the water.
May 6th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
AS BRUCE PULLS INTO THE TUBE AND SETS HIMSELF UNDER THE AVALANCHING CASCADE OF WATER HE IS FEELING THE STOKE OF THE MOMENT.THEN AS HE PEERS THRU THE OPENING HOLE OF THE TUBE HIS THOUGHTS TURN TO THE BEAUTIFUL MIA AS HE DREAMS OF HOLDING HER IN HIS ARMS.
May 6th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
BRUCE IS THINKING FREAK I COULD DRIVE THE BRET MICHALES LOVE BUS THRU THIS BABY.
May 6th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
“My dick bench pressed 350
Your dick couldn’t shoplift at Thrifty”
May 7th, 2009 at 9:33 am
This is what he is thinking:
…………………………
Pure zen deluxe.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
There are many emotions that plunge out with no hands in huge tubes.One might be it’s just all you no other thoughts, or maybe even that you witnesses one of Earths treasured moments. But one thing for sure it’s a place that is just full of life. No worries, no cares, no nothing it’s something that we still have that is untouchable by all the things we try to get away from. So what I think that Bruce Irons is thinking about is that “I am living life.”
May 7th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
where’d my baby go…..I just had it in my hands
May 7th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
man this tube gonna be sick going through. I think im just goin hit it like i usually do
May 8th, 2009 at 1:07 am
If I had a nickel for every one of these, I’d be set for life. Wait a minute…
May 8th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Bruce is thinking…..Bettya Chuck Norris cant do this.
May 8th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
no hands lets see other people try this cause this is goin be sick as hell
May 8th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Inside Brucey’s head as he gets mad pitted- -
Hmmm, mass distributed continuously within volume V, the movement of inertia of the mass about the X axis is given by either IX = ? rx2 dm or IX = ? rx2 ? dV…(SPIT)
May 8th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
What did I do with all my free time before my baby?!!!
May 9th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Bruce is thinking “bring it on.” He’s pulling out of that immaculate Teahupoo tube with unequalled, graceful poise, as if posing the question, “is that all you’ve got?” He thinks of every wave he’s ever surfed, every morning he’s gotten up early to prepare for this moment, and every time he’s surfed this very wave in his dreams. Then comes the rush of sudden realization, the daring question, “who needs hands anyway?”
May 9th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
BRUCE IS THINKING, HANDS DOWN IM THE BEST IN THE GREENROOM.I GOT STYLE,I GOT GRACE,I GOT HUGE TUBES SPRAYING IN MY FACE.
May 9th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
He’s probably thinking one of three thing’s. Either a some song like “Damn it feels good to be a gangster!” or “I’ve got big ball’s” . Or “ho bra dis is sick!”. Last but not least “Is it just me or isn’t this coolest thing you can do on a wave?”
May 9th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Bruce is thinking absolutely nothing. Being in a barrel is one of the times in life you feel complete and udder freedom.
May 10th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Bruce is thinking, let’s see andy do this.
May 10th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! braddraprapraprap
May 10th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
All he is thinkin is SUCK IT!
to anyone whos watching…
May 10th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I wonder what Oprah would do?
May 10th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
….he’s thinking…”fuck,..this ones wider than the last one!!. but,right after i get out…load the gear.. holo-holo time!!i wonder if the Ono and Ahi are running…HANAPA!! mahalo for letting me hang chief.. 66 kuta beach…
May 10th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
he’s thinking of nothing but remembering every sinlge moment of it.
May 11th, 2009 at 5:11 am
GAY!!!
May 11th, 2009 at 10:37 am
he is thinking,yea now!
May 11th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
bruce is trippin out so hard!!! and, sayin i could do this all day!!
May 11th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
The only thing that goes through my mind in that situation is, “please don’t close out”! I’m guessing his thoughts are right on those lines.
May 11th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Balance bruce,balance…mmmm wonder what will happen to a cat if you tied buttered toast to its back and dropped it from height
May 12th, 2009 at 11:51 am
just cook’in!!
May 12th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
buenos tardes amigo…
May 12th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
“jus cook’in”
May 12th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
…to do list…
drop off package at post office
mow the lawn
go to store pick up diapers
get barrelled off my ass (check)
pick up dry cleaning
May 13th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
SEXXXY!
May 13th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
(woooohooo!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe they pay me to play in the waves!!!!!!!!!!)Bruce is thinking about how stoked he is to get paid for just ripping and fulfilling his dream doing what he loves.
May 13th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
“Can I get a little Hell Yeah”
May 13th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Look at me look at me….No Hands Bra!
May 13th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
“TUBEULER Dude”
May 13th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Bruce is thinking…..Tasty wave dude! lmao
May 14th, 2009 at 11:51 am
So Gay!
May 14th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Bruce is simply thinking “Holy Shit, I’ve been here a thousand times but still…. Holy Shit!”
May 14th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Bruce is thinking of nothing. His mind is clear and focused. The tube is a place for bliss… where nothing matters and everything is great!
May 14th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Bruce Irons doesn’t think, The wave thinks “this guys got a lot of balls not grabbin his rail in me”
May 14th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Bruce Irons doesn’t think, The wave thinks “this guys got a lot of balls not grabbin his rail in me”
May 14th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
I better not grab my rail or kai borg is gonna beat my skinny ass
May 15th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Don try dis at home Cuz, o you gonna get drilled
May 15th, 2009 at 9:32 am
I can fuckin do this with my eyes closed, im over it.
May 15th, 2009 at 9:35 am
Cha- ching-cha-chingchingching…dollabills y’all
May 15th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Look Reef! (McIntosh) No hands!
May 15th, 2009 at 9:41 am
I need some more life insurance!
May 15th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Ahhhmmmmm?? quick! grab my balls and flip off whoever is sitting in the channel! Grab a brew and dump it on my head!
May 15th, 2009 at 9:54 am
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 15th, 2009 at 9:59 am
This is a lot better than heeter guessing what im thinkin! cuz hes bored at work and the closest he’s going to get to a backhand hands free tubride at Pipe is in his dreams if he’s lucky enough to even surf in his dreams… sucker!!!!—Spit—
May 15th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Blahgrrrrruuuughllllummmmffzzzzoowwweeeee!!!!
May 15th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Damn! I’m the man! I just helped Heeter kill a solid 35 minutes at work trying to come up with creative thoughts for me while i’m in the barrel, just so he can win all my gear! I’m the fuckin man!
May 15th, 2009 at 10:08 am
The fist rule about hands free backside tuberiding!…. we do not talk about hands free backside tuberiding!
May 15th, 2009 at 10:13 am
What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord?
My ass!Ha HAAA haaa…Enough!!- spit…
May 15th, 2009 at 10:14 am
From now on you will all refer to me as Betty!
May 15th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Thats All folks! its lunch time!! Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 15th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Bruce is thinkin, “wow i have made it, im in the belly of the beast and im lovin it. The best feeling in the world. This will be in the mag and ill have to give some stoked kid a bunch of gear and my signature board.” “I love it”
May 15th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
righteous,RIGHTEOUS,RIGHTEOUS……..this is bodaciously radical.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Bruce in thinking, “I wonder who’s buying beer tonight…I hope they got the BBQ grill going…I better hit the ATM before the crips and hold’m tonight…”
May 15th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
He’s thinking about how jealous Andy is going to be when he gets the cover of TWS
May 16th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Bruce’s thoughts: “I’m Bruce Irons, this is MY LIFE.”
May 16th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Guys lets admit it bruce irons probably isnt thinking about anything but getting through that tube when i surf i dont think about my next move i just to what i do and i think that goes for all surfers including bruce
May 17th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
He’s thinking whenever he sees another set roll in, what can’t i do on these waves? and his answer is alway nothing………..(nh)
May 17th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
fuck andy and everybody no
one can touch me
May 17th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Yessssa! Another day at the office.10 more of these and it’s Miller time.
May 17th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
If Bruce was operating hands free at Barra De LaCruz in April he might be pondering a variety of things such as…..WTF is that Israeli doing with a machete in the lineup….or…Are those groms trying to rob my shit again…or…Thanks Sean Collins for drawing attention to this spot.
May 17th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Aaaaaahhhhh yyyeeaaaahhhh boooooyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!
May 18th, 2009 at 5:01 am
Yea im just this good, i wonder what i should do for dinner?
May 18th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Bruce is thinking he hopes a gaint octopus does not come out of the water and try and eat him becasue Bruce would not like that. Bruce also hopes that a gaint shark named George does not want to have dinner with him because that could be bad,too. The other thing that is on Bruce’s mind is what he is going to have for dinner tonight. He could go with seafood, but the seafood gods could get angry at him for eating their children of the sea, and thrash him in the water for punishment.Bruce will most likely go with a steak dinner, becasue he knows he is cool with the meat gods and lives very far from any catlle or ranch.
May 18th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Bruce is just thinking if the waves get shitty I am going fishing today
May 18th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Dude screw this board, tell me I wont body-surf this MOTHA using my Johnson as a Rudder! Why? Because I am that Gnarrrlllyy!
May 18th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
He has to be thinking that that is the moment he lives for and that he doesnt want it to end. every surfer loves to be on the inside of a monster tube and it gives you a thrill which you never want to leave and i know he has to think the same.
May 19th, 2009 at 9:08 am
That was easy!
May 19th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Pigdoggin is for pussies!
May 19th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Nothing, if he thinks he gets thrashed, Bruce reacts, and his reactions usually end up being pretty awe-inspiring clinics on how to properly navigate heaving slabs on the nohand-backhand.
May 19th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Extreme!
May 20th, 2009 at 9:04 am
HieeeYAH!
May 20th, 2009 at 9:06 am
That was sketchy!
May 20th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Airdrops on reefslabs and glass- on fin thrusters
Bright colored rainbows and warm water Brothers
Brown baggin cold brews tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Blue colored Barrels and crisp offshore breezes
Bali , Hawaii and My Island Steezy
Wild behavior on waves watch my wings
These are a few of my favorite things
My Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Salt crystals that form on my trunks and eyelashes
Silver white foamballs that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the reef bites
When the lime stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad
That’s what Bruce thinks when he’s in the tube
May 20th, 2009 at 11:16 am
fuck yah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! take that shit monster wave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Fuck, that fag bodyboarder hasn’t seen me! If he’s got enough testosterone to go ahead,I sware I’m gonna make good use of my fin glass!
May 20th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
F#@k the tour, i’ll be doing this till the day i die!
May 21st, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Now I get why when the Dukes of Hazzard jumped the General Lee they screamed YEEE HAAAA
May 21st, 2009 at 8:58 pm
this is nuts,im glad he told me to grab rail less…
May 25th, 2009 at 7:21 am
Bruce is probably thinking; “this is why I paddle out not for the world titles but for the love of the ride.”
May 27th, 2009 at 8:51 am
He’s not thinking, just reacting. before the wave there are probably tons of things going through his mind. Where the wave will break, can he catch it, when to paddle, was that babe checking me out last night etc. But when actually surfing he is just feeling the flow of the ocean and probably smiling and once the wave is over Irons is pure stoke.
May 27th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Bruce only has ONE thing on his mind…. THE FULLY ERECT DUDE IS THE ONE WHO GETS THE CHICK!
May 27th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
jclarke805@live.com
May 27th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Or re-worded… ONLY A DUDE WHO IS FULLY ERECT CAN SCORE IN AND OUT OF THE WATER
I LIKE THE SECOND ONE MYSELF… more implication.
May 27th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
True story, check out my pecks.
May 28th, 2009 at 7:46 am
He’s thinking of the immense power of the wave and the beauty and the majesty of the wave. Hes thinking that the wave is in control and he must let the wave take him along for the ride not him make a ride out of the wave but simply let the wave take him for a ride. Cuz Bruce is totally awesome so he knows that he is in the waves hands so hes thinking please let this wave take me for the ride of my life.
May 28th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Humm i wish it was bigger. Wait! SHIT i forgot to get milk at the store. O well, i’l just go in and get some. It’s too small out here anyways.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I hope Andy saw me!!!!!!
June 2nd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
SO YOU THINK GOOD SURFER, NOW TRYING TO DO THIS.
June 2nd, 2009 at 7:12 pm
he is thinking about if or is there a better feeling then this and if so he wants to know about it.
June 5th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
This is so easy. Hes thinking about “The Secret.” Picturing his hands wrapped around the steering wheel of a new BMW.
June 12th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
He thinks he is in a time warp as he is admiring the lip coming over him.
June 21st, 2009 at 10:29 am
Hes thinking fuck I need to think of something witty so rob skitt can win this contest but it just isn’t coming!
June 22nd, 2009 at 8:12 am
He is thinking, “I hope Alana is watching.”
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:54 pm
BRUCE IS WONDERING IF THE JERSEY SHORE, AND THE REST OF THE EAST COAST IS AS GOOD AS PUBLISHED IN SURFER………………. ANSWER: F N A, BRUCE, F N A!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 24th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I bet you mia loved it
June 28th, 2009 at 2:28 am
How do I amaze myself so much?
June 29th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
“Hold, hold, wait, lean back, wait, lean forward, don’t poke taco, ahhhhh… perfect. Wait, speed up, speed up… ahhhhhhhhhh.”
July 6th, 2009 at 12:51 am
“all black…….. allrighhhhhh.”
July 6th, 2009 at 2:14 am
Bruce is thinking……’This ones not big enough, I have to get a bigger one, and creep everyone out by stretching my fingers towards the lip!’
July 7th, 2009 at 5:39 am
F U, F U, F U, i’m cool, peace out!
July 7th, 2009 at 5:43 am
The only thing that would make this better would be a hard drink and some sweet tunes blarin’
July 7th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
wheres the camera
July 7th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
damn im sexy
July 10th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Bruce is thinking i hope my friends are watching me rip deep in this barrel
July 12th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
hopfully that chick over there is watching thi….. OH SHIT!! SPEED UP!!
July 14th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Bruce: This is too easy on a js surfboard..
July 21st, 2009 at 3:09 pm
baseball…cold showers…baseball…cold showers…margaret thatcher naked on a cold day
August 11th, 2009 at 1:43 am
Bruce probably thinks that if he gives things away to the future champs they will do the same thing when they get sponsored and become famous.
August 27th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
bruce is thinking about his whole life up until the point he caught that wave and he crazy happy that he made all the decision so he could be doing what he loves most surfing
August 28th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Hes thinking about how much he gets paid to do this and how easy it is for him while also admiring the perfect wave he’s riding in
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:25 am
If you think you can handle these waves like I do, then come on down
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:39 am
If you think you can handle these waves like I do, then come on down
*Forgot to put my mail on the last one
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:50 am
Machado, Andy, Kelly, Fanning, and anyone else who wants to get in my way can suck it because I’m the best at this, period
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:55 am
Maybe if i shake my ass ill get a better score
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:05 am
minors
September 5th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
green room is my favorite color
September 26th, 2009 at 5:34 am
he is thinking of his wife and kid. i read that somewhere. peace bruce i feel ya.
October 5th, 2009 at 8:30 am
"Holy Crap"…
October 12th, 2009 at 6:53 am
like whats up im not looking to win so many pepoel but way not try dish washing aint geting me anywere right nowbut whats up im josh and there is not much to say athere than i hope to win maby i wont look so bumy haha im not that bad but im not good but i will be just keep pushing my way to the top dont no whan ill be there but i will i have to say i wish my self luck thank for your time
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:28 am
Bruce: "I can't beleive i'm being paid to do something i love so much!"
December 2nd, 2009 at 1:30 am
Bruce is thinking… IF i get out of this tube i win a million dollars!
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
he is not thinking, he's singing a good old pearl jam song YAAAY
December 19th, 2009 at 12:49 am
"Shit i must grab my rail right now!"
January 23rd, 2010 at 6:19 am
Bruce is thinkin "Damn i'm good! I'm Hungry after this one i might paddle in an grab a Burrito or maybe some Tacos!"
January 29th, 2010 at 1:16 am
Did I lock my car?
February 4th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
ooh shit… ooohh shiiitt… when is this thing gonna break!!!