We are not sexist. After our controversial “10 Hottest Girls In Pro Surfing” post, one of our faithful-yet-loathed comment box posters—“Stu” is his handle—dared us to do the same thing but with dudes. With that challenge in mind, we asked the newest member of the Transworld SURF editorial team—Miss TransWorld SURF 2008 Heather Rose—to rank the Ten Hottest Guys In Surfing. As you may or may not already know, Heather is a loose cannon with a foul mouth—and we love her for that. Her prose is as hot and spicy as her body, so enjoy the list and save your homo-phobia and man crushes for the gym.
Heather’s #1 heart throb Dane Reynolds. Photo: Bielmann/SPL
Above: Dane’s 10 point ride at the 2009 Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast
1. Dane Reynolds
Let’s be realistic this guy is the ultimate dreamboat. With all due respect to his girlfriend, he is definitely making surfing very sexy. Also he reads Hemmingway, which gives him bonus points in my book. He claims to believe in pacifism, well Dane you can start by pacifying our beating hearts. Dane needs to market his essense in a cologne or sports drink—call it, Dane’s delight, whatever it is I’ll take a sip. Smart, young, smooth and delicious Dane should be very proud to be number one on my list.
Tanner Gudauskas has the dance moves and smile that makes the ladies melt. Photo: Checkwood
2. Tanner Gudauskas
Tanner is my favorite Guadoukjgsdghkis brother. He is sweet, funny and has the ability to dance the pants off ANYONE. He definitely won the dance competition versus Seabass in The Pursuit—not to mention his all-American good looks. Tanner is the kind of guy who never puts on a sad face and would never be a sore loser. He is perpetually stoked and optimistic.
Dane’s baby blues make the ladies swoon…Photo: English
3. Dane Ward
If you’ve had the chance to gaze into his baby blue eyes then you understand why he is numero tres on my list. Dane is a super friendly guy with decent morals considering he was raised with sisters. If surfing doesn’t work out for him, there’s always Playgirl.
Girls love dirty boys…Warren Smith. Photo: Taras
4. Warren Smith
Face the facts: If you don’t think Warren Smith is f—king adorable then you are a lesbian. This kid has a hessian style and probably hasn’t showered since ‘08. Thankfully the pheromones are on his side because cleanliness doesn’t seem to be a point of contention for us ladies. With a different hair color each month Warren constantly keeps our attention. Also he carves waves like a thanksgiving turkey. Never change you little sexpot.
Heather’s not the only who was weak in the knees back in ’93. Photo People Magazine
Kelly Slater in his breakthrough movie; In Black And White.
5. Kelly Slater Circa 1993
Kelly definitely did it for the ladies in his In Black And White era. As the oldest man on my list, Kelly is single-handedly showing us that there may be luck for aging surfers. Still slicing that shit like it was yesterday, Kelly keeps his prestige and hotness. Nine world titles and number five on my Top Ten Hottest Surfers list … what can’t Kelly do?
Really Heather? A D.I.L.F.? Luke Stedman. Photo: Bielmann/SPL
6. Luke Stedman
Holy hotness! We lost Heath Ledger, but thank god we still have Luke. Who could resist that blonde scruffy muffin? This is one sexy D.I.L.F. Dear Luke, let me babysit. I promise I will wait until they reach legal age. I hope legal age is before 18 in Oz. Love, Heather.
Eric G would have been ranked higher had he made out with Heather instead of Danielle…Photo: Dorsey
7. Eric Geiselman
Eric, you are my favorite, and you know this. Watching this little olive lamb grow up, we were witness to sex appeal blooming. I’m sorry I had to rank you at 7, but come on, you made out with Danielle instead of me. Bummer. Also I would like to cordially thank your mother for popping out two sexy little Florida surfers…that’s right girlies, he’s got a little brother.
A hot mess…Ozzie Wright. Photo: Scott
8. Ozzie Wright
Although Ozzie does not have the contemporary look of a sexy beach surfer, he f—king rules. His art is insane, nobody can do more tricks on one wave, and his music rocks our socks. You definitely want to make love to his well-rounded talent. Mucho respect.
Innocent Ace would stand no chance with Miss Heather Rose…Photo: Checkwood
9. Adrian “Ace” Buchan
One of my last minute replacements, Ace just Buchan’ed his way on up to nine. It was the mustache that did it for me, making that creepy upper lip look damn fine. We hope you don’t slip anything into our drinks, cause c’mon Ace … we weren’t going to say no in the first place.
A rare moment when Aussie madman Paul Fisher is clothed. Photo: S*
10. Paul Fisher
Last but certainly not least we have Paul Fisher from Australia. He doesn’t need to do much fishing for ladies—with all that blonde ambition and shredding skills. That smile alone makes us melt! What can I say…I like blondes. Preferably blondes who feel the constant constrain of clothing. This guy loves to get nude—finally a preview we are willing to sit through!