2.1 Random acts of senseless information

My Bologna Has A First Name, It’s G – U – M! Blow your lunch!

I like bologna and I like gum, but everytime I eat them together the bologna crumbles into little pieces and gets mixed in with the gum. It starts to make the gum taste like bologna, and the gum eventually turns gray and loses all flavor. That’s why this new product, “Bologna Gum,” is so great. You get the look and feel of bologna, without the pig guts and meaty bologna aftertaste. Try a Bologna Gum and Mayo sandwich on wheat bread – it’s delicious.

– C.C.

Aloha

Yes, you could be the winner of a custom Aloha surfboard, the same kind Hawai‘ian legend Johnny-Boy Gomes rides – maybe even one of his boards! All you have to do is tell us your best story about surfing in Hawai‘i, including what, when, and where; and it better be funny, or life – threatening, or don’t even bother to enter. If you’ve never had the opportunity to surf in the Aloha state, you can make up a story and work your imagination.

Entries should be 250 words max, and must be submitted by February 1, 2000. Please specify if you would like one of J.B.G.’s

famous sticks he’s actually ripped on, or a design of your own,

should you be selected the winner.

Send entries to:

“I Don’t Wanna Work, I Just Wanna Pull In The Tube All Day”

c/o TransWorld SURF

353 Airport Road

Oceanside, CA 92054

Good Luck. Get weird, use colorful language, and just let your pen vomit.

Girls Gettin’ A Little Too Busy

We have the winners for the Girls Gettin’ Busy contest! Before you look at these pictures, please be aware that some are very scary – looking and some are almost nude. These girls went to extremes to outdo one another. I think the pictures would’ve been a lot better if we had our magazines in a women’s prison, but the pictures we have will do just fine, thank you. We chose Stephanie Rasmussen of Tustin, California, because she not only sent cute pictures of herself before the decoration, but also proved she still looked cute after the decoration. In close second place were the ladies from Pacific Beach, California, who went all out for the free gear. Third – place finishers, Amber, Jennifer, and Trisha, are three cuties from right here in Oceanslime, California. Good job to all the girls and the lucky guys who painted on them.

Jesse Billauer Still Rips

As a fifteen year old surfing in the NSSA Open Season, I used to compete against so many good kids. Guys like Hagan Kelley, Jordy Tappis, Troy Tecklenburg, Timmy Curran, and Dan Malloy. They were surfing with fluid styles and winning a majority of these contests. Among this crowd of kids with his “Dorian fade” and a Billabong logo on his board was Jesse Billauer from Malibu, California. He even had the limp wrist and “Dorian fingers” to go along with his aggressive style of surfing. About four years ago, Jesse was surfing Zuma Beach in Malibu when he broke his neck. This accident left Jesse paralyzed from the neck down and that was the last time he went surfing.

On October 22, I did an interview with Rob Machado and he told me he was going to take Jesse surfing for his first time since the accident. I showed up at Rob’s house the next day to find Cardiff Reef sheet glass and breaking about one to two feet. Jesse arrived about ten minutes later with his brand – new 10’0″ custom Al Merrick surfboard. Screw – in straps made it possible for him to lay down and hold on to the board. We paddled out with a posse consisting of Jesse, Jesse’s brother Josh, Pascal Stansfield, Rob Machado, Jesse’s assistant, and me.

Rob pushed Jesse into his first wave and Josh was able to ride right next to him the whole way. It was so insane to see the smile on Jesse’s face, and with that wave the whole parking lot full of cars at Cardiff Reef were honking their horns in support. After about 45 minutes of surfing, I was on the very inde when Rob pushed Jesse into a side wave. He was headed straight for an oncoming section and he banked off of it like an off the lip. I was so stoked to be a part of this surf session, but seeing Jesse doing his first off lip in four years really put things into perspective. As Jesse said, “Enjoy what you do while you’re doing it, because you may never get the chance to do it again.” – Blair Marlin

Loose Change

Taylor Steele interviewed by Rob Machado

Rob Machado: What’s your new movie called?

Taylor Steele: The movie is named Loose Change.

Why?

I like titles that have more then one meaning. I like viewers to try to figure out the correlation of the title and the movie. There’re several reasons. The simplest is the surfers change to different personalities.

It’s a loose change from reality. I hear ya.

Also, it sorta reminds me of an 80s movie, like Caddy Shack or Spaceballs.

What’s the premise of the video? Is it a follow – up

to The Show with a feature – presentation style?

Well, when I watched The Show over again last year, I didn’t like the way the skits flowed. The skits were all over the place and didn’t go into surfing that well. So, I wanted to improve in that area. I called my friend Brendan Malloy (the Malloy cousin) who works on

scripts in Hollywood. We worked on a fun little script.

What’s the story line?

Basically, the story of the movie is about what the surfers would be like if they never surfed.

So, you think I’d be a slacker laughing?

Well, yeah laughing. It could be worse.

I know, I’ve seen the other ones. What are some

of the other roles?

A 7 – Eleven clerk, a bum, a thief, a mechanic, a DJ – there’re something like twenty different ones. A lot of the guys were nervous acting, but it seemed natural.

I’m a natural – born slacker.

Was it hard at all?

It was tough. There was a little bit of pressure to do a good job. Everyone was standing around watching. There were bright lights on, the camera crew was filming with expensive film, and we were on a rushed time schedule. I couldn’t afford to mess up too many times.

It was pretty funny seeing everyone acting with a

real movie film crew. Some guys surprised me. I’ve had a little experience with the whole movie – making process doing a

couple music videos, so I knew it was going to be a lot of work.

It looks like you got some good waves for the video. Where did you film for this?

The Canaries, Australia, Bali, Metawais, Africa, Reunion Island, Cali, Barbados, and Hawai‘i. Pretty much everywhere. There’s about 100 hours of raw footage edited down to one hour.

Same cast or what?

I have a couple of new guys like Bruce Irons and

Rizal. A few surprises, too. What do you think of your surfing in this?

I’m stoked. I was lucky, we got some really sick waves in Indo and some fun waves in France and California. What kind of music is in the movie?

I wanted music that was more diverse for this video, not just punk. I still like punk, but I want more styles of music. There’re so many good bands out there. One thing that’s consistent is the tempo of the music. It needs to drive the great surfing, not hold it back.

How’s this movie rate compared to your other movies?

I think it’s my best movie.

I agree.

My Dad Looks Like Randall!

David Pearson from Vista, California, sent us some lewd photos of his own father just to win a pair of Counter Culture trunks. His dad, John, was sporting some pink drawstring Op “mystery meat” trunks. Supposedly, he never takes them off. So, John – please take them off now that you have some new ones (make your son wear them for a week).

Volcom Fart Rag Winner

Yes, the winner of the dorkiest – looking school photo was Luke Ramsey of Vancouver, B.C., Canada. His dorky punk – rocker school photo was chosen for its annoying qualities, i.e., the glasses, the sneer, and the lazy eye. Also shown are some dorky non – winners – Chelsea (with tongue) and her friends. Send us some more shots, Chelsea. You might eventually win something.

Wishes Do Come True

Like most groms in the Santa Cruz, California area, fifteen – year – old Samuel Yoro loves to surf, and avidly reads TransWorld SURF magazine. He attends high school and dreams of surfing Fiji. Yet there is something about Samuel that sets him apart from other surfers his age. In June, Samuel was diagnosed with a serious cancer known as naso pharyngeal carcinoma. Initial medical treatments kept him out of the water for a while, but not long. Samuel has managed to surf and keep a positive attitude despite the most recent cycle of radiation therapy. With the help of the Make – A – Wish Foundation, he will soon be sent to Fiji to make his surfing dream a reality. Our good friends at Billabong have generously donated gear to enable Samuel to travel in high style. We can all learn from his true love of the sport. The staff at TransWorld SURF and Billabong wish Samuel and his family all of the best. – Lisa Minardiner

Yes, the winner of the dorkiest – looking school photo was Luke Ramsey of Vancouver, B.C., Canada. His dorky punk – rocker school photo was chosen for its annoying qualities, i.e., the glasses, the sneer, and the lazy eye. Also shown are some dorky non – winners – Chelsea (with tongue) and her friends. Send us some more shots, Chelsea. You might eventually win something.

Wishes Do Come True

Like most groms in the Santa Cruz, California area, fifteen – year – old Samuel Yoro loves to surf, and avidly reads TransWorld SURF magazine. He attends high school and dreams of surfing Fiji. Yet there is something about Samuel that sets him apart from other surfers his age. In June, Samuel was diagnosed with a serious cancer known as naso pharyngeal carcinoma. Initial medical treatments kept him out of the water for a while, but not long. Samuel has managed to surf and keep a positive attitude despite the most recent cycle of radiation therapy. With the help of the Make – A – Wish Foundation, he will soon be sent to Fiji to make his surfing dream a reality. Our good friends at Billabong have generously donated gear to enable Samuel to travel in high style. We can all learn from his true love of the sport. The staff at TransWorld SURF and Billabong wish Samuel and his family all of the best. – Lisa Minardi

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