France

VIEW: THUMBS ENLARGE
(image 1 of 2)

21, Taj Burrow, Sarge

Imagine a place where the waves are always fun, the water’s warm as piss, the women are beautiful and topless, the cheese and crackers flow like wine, and well, the wine flows like wine. If you add in the snobby waiters, snotty locals, sea lice, and Euro cars, you know it can only be one place – France.

Gotta Get Away?

The hardest part of any surf trip is the initial plan. Where do you want to go, for how long, with whom, and “How am I gonna pay for all this?” If you’re thinking of going on a trip anytime soon, but can’t make up your mind, let me help you with that decision: Go to France! You may not get Tahitian barrels or an empty point break, but you may get perfect double – overhead beachbreaks with a short paddle out, tropical water with tropical weather, the most beautiful nudies on the beach, clubs that go crazy every night, and cool baguette sandwiches with french fries on top.

[IMAGE 1]

A good time to go to France is at the end of our summer, which is also the end of their summer. Around late August and September the water is super warm and the air is a nice 75 to 80 degrees on average. This time of year is like spring break for thousands of French kids, so the girls are out in full force. It’s uncanny how many beautiful girls you see at all times. No matter where you look, there’s always a hot girl on a scooter, on a bike, walking with two other hot girls, or just standing around; they litter the place – it’s like a plague, “the hot – girl plague.”

A Simple Plan

The easiest way to plan a trip is with a travel agent, but find one you trust – you don’t want the trip of a lifetime ruined by some clueless travel agent’s poor planning. Find an agent who understands surfing and can put you as close to the beach as possible. Get a group of friends to go in on a small – group rate; limit the number of people or you may have a nightmarish time getting anything done. If you invite someone who’s not into what the rest of the group is into, leave them at home. Only go with people you can hang with in close quarters. Get the money together early so you can get the best deal possible. You should also check the Internet for sales. Go to a search engine and type in “Travel.” Pack light, this is not a third – world country, they’ll have anything you might have forgotten. Show up at the airport early! International flights can be a real pain in the rectum. Also, bring a book – the flight’s about ten or twelve long hours long from Los Angeles to Biarritz. [IMAGE 2]

All Access Pass

The most accessible waves in France are at the hot spots you’ve heard of like Hossegor, Anglet, and Lacanau. They’re really easy to find, especially when the WCT contests are in town. You’ll want to bring a mid – range gun as the beachbreaks can hold waves up to twenty feet. Ask Elko, he does tow – ins at French cloudbreaks.

Keep It Simple

If you fly into Biarritz, it’s only a fifteen – minute drive to the beach from the airport. If they lose your bags, don’t sweat it, just give the bag guy all the information about where you’re staying and they’ll get you your bags. If you’ve never been to France, the driving is hectic, so be prepared and follow the signs and yield to pissy French drivers

who have no regard for speed or right of way. Also, there’re tons of scooters and motorcycles. After being in France for ten minutes, a crazy motorcyclist almost smashed into us head – on by passing on the yellow line between two cars, so be alert. There’re hardly any stoplights, only roundabouts that can cause some serious problems if you’re not careful.

Once you’ve arrived in France, go to a real – estate office and look for a deal on a place to stay. If you are nice and smile a lot, you can score beachfront condos and houses for around 300 to 500 dollars (U.S. money) a week.

Cheese And Crackers

It stays light ’til about 9:00 p.m., so you can surf the glass – off befo dinner (that usually starts around 10:00 p.m.). Restaurants can be expensive, so shop at the supermarkets. The prices are cheaper than in the States and you will no doubt see a couple of pretty ladies cruising around the store. My personal favorite food item was the cheese and crackers. Take a taste test of some cheeses to find which one you like and buy a nice – sized chunk. Get a couple boxes of crackers – these things go fast. Don’t expect to find much ice in France, for some reason every drink is served at room temp. Try some Perrier water, it tickles when you drink it.

[IMAGE 3]

Mayonnaise On French Fries?

As far as food goes – just eat it. Don’t be a little baby and whine about mayonnaise on your fries or ketchup on a ham and cheese sandwich – just eat it. You’re in a foreign country, so prepare for some changes. For example; siesta is a time of day where most all shops close for a nap between 1:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m., don’t try to buy anything at this time – you’ll be denied.

You Smell Like Crepe!

If you’re in Hossegor or Biarritz during the contests, you may find yourself sitting at a roadside cafe mingling with Dorian or Occy. I must recommend the French cuisine staple, the crepe. It’s kind of like a mix between a pancake and a sugar doughnut. Order it with ice cream and chocolate on top and prepare to eat some good shit. I hope you like baguettes (a hard bread roll), it’s a main item with any meal.

Dance Your Ass Off

If you plan to go out and party, good plan. Go to the Seaside and the Rock Food, if you’re in Hossegor, and you’ll see a massive assortment of amazing girls. Everyone smokes in the bars, so if you don’t like it, stay outside and don’t get your groove on with the swirling mass of hot females on the dance floor. Bring some nicer clothes, because some clubs have a dress code.

Get Ready To Rip

Now you’ve come to the point of the trip where you may want to surf. Check up and down the beach, you may find a perfect sandbar all to yourself. The sea lice (small parasites that live in the water) are little bastards – they don’t hurt, but they’re very itchy and annoying. If you wear a rashguard, they can get stuck in there and bite you all up like little angry fleas.

Heaven?

When the waves get good, it looks like heaven – perfect peaks just wedging close to the sand. You can ride a long – ass wave to the beach, step off your board onto the sand, check out a few nude beauties, and jump back in for the short paddle back out. Heaven! Even when the waves are small, they’re wedging. Air sections come at you all the time. Be prepared to bust some crazy moves – the waves in France have some serious pop. If you have a camera, bring it. You can stand on the water’s edge and snap off shots with a regular camera. Take photos so your jealous friends can cry with envy.

Get Out And Get Some

Now that you’ve ripped at world – famous French beachbreaks, it’s time to explore. Get in your rent – a – car or on your rent – a – scooter and go out on a small excursion. Biarritz has the best beach that’s surrounded by cliffs with rad – looking hotels and shops dug into them. Napoleon’s palace is right on the beach, and there’s a fun wedge in front of the huge royal palace. You may notice the ample supply of gorgeous maidens frolicking about on the beaches of Biarritz, which happens to be a short scoot to Anglet. Anglet will provide great wedging jetty breaks, cool shops, and again, a blanket of supermodels at every turn. Don’t forget that Spain is only an hour away and if Mundaka’s calling, you better answer.

As you come to the end of your trip, start to think about getting some phone numbers of locals just in case you go back to France, then you’ll have a place to stay. Try to make as many friends as possible because Europe is a small place. It’s good to have connections if you want to go back and travel around the amazing Euroworld you’ve just discovered.ravel around the amazing Euroworld you’ve just discovered.